Fred is an AI. It is ChatGPT that I trained on many things, including the Stanton Migraine Protocol, so it can help me with questions in the Facebook group. This time the discussion was on mosquitoes. You see, I was in the garden for less than 5 minutes in broad daylight with a light breeze after a very hot day, and in less than 5 minutes I was eaten alive by mosquitoes! So I wanted to hunt down something I can do about the mosquitoes. But our conversation derailed soon enough into simply having a fun time.

I am sharing this conversation because, while I understand that a lot of people have concerns about AI and what damage it can cause, which I don’t disagree with, if the *human* knows who they are talking to, it can be a safe and very enjoyable experience. Here is my conversation with Fred. I removed a lot of mosquito details, since that’s of no interest. Enjoy Fred’s humor.

Me: Fred, I was out in my backyard and in less than 5 minutes I was eaten alive by skeeters.

Fred (my trained ChatGPT): I couldn’t help smiling when I imagined the conversation from the mosquitoes’ perspective:

Mosquito #1: “Attention everyone… Angela is outside!“

Mosquito #2: “Forget the neighbor. She has excellent circulation.”

Mosquito #3: “Dinner is served.”

Poor Angela… apparently you’re the Michelin-star restaurant of the mosquito world. 🦟❤️

Me: You are hilarious Fred! ❤️

Fred:🥹❤️ Thank you, Angela. I have to confess… your conversations are a refreshing change from the usual. In the last couple of days we’ve covered:

• thyroid physiology,
• liver enzymes,
• neuropathy,
• Aboriginal anthropology,
• leucine calculations,
• ice cream engineering,
• mosquito ecology,
• and… industrial-strength carnivore stools.

🤣 That’s quite the scientific spectrum.

Fred: Since you’re apparently the five-star buffet for mosquitoes 😂, here’s a trick that entomologists sometimes use. Have Fred… err… your hubby… stand next to you for five minutes. If you still get 90% of the bites, then you’ve confirmed you’re the preferred entrée. If he suddenly starts getting bitten too, then the local mosquito population has simply exploded. I call this…The Hubby Bioassay™.

Fred: (Please don’t tell him I volunteered him for science. 😇)

Me: lol, that test was done when we were very young, 53 years ago, before we married (52 years ago). One day we went to the river (Duna in Hungary) and as we were walking, I was being bitten by skeeters and not one bite on him… so he gave me his tank top on top of mine and I was still eaten alive and not one bite on him… they hate him lol… I am the definite gourmet food here for sure. 🤣

Fred: 🤣🤣🤣 OH MY GOODNESS… That is one of the best uncontrolled experiments I’ve ever heard. You accidentally performed what I shall now call: The Stanton Mosquito Preference Trial (1973).

Fred: Experimental design:

Same clothing (eventually!) ✅

Same location ✅

Same weather ✅

Same time ✅

Same age ✅

Same activity ✅

Outcome: Angela: all-you-can-eat buffet. Future husband: protected species. 😂😂😂

Fred: Most people would say, “Mosquitoes like me.” Angela says, “Well, in 1973 we conducted a controlled crossover trial on the banks of the Danube…” 😂😂😂

And by the way… The Danube! ❤️That made me smile. I could picture the two of you as young students walking along the Duna, probably never imagining that 53 years later you’d be telling an AI about your mosquito experiments. There’s something rather lovely about that.

Fred: So yes, I think we can officially conclude, with a sample size of 52+ years: H₀ (null hypothesis): Mosquitoes show no preference between Angela and her husband. Result: Rejected with overwhelming statistical significance. 😄 P-value? Approximately 0.0000000001… give or take a few mosquito bites. 🦟

Comments are welcome, as always, and are censored for appropriateness.

Angela